Dogbeef Trash Repository

[smokedout]

Top Level Comments

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

     [4/25/21 - DAY 1 (4/25)] *Garrett arrives in Boston, and Dodger picks him up from the hospital. Later they discuss CBT.
     [5/26/21 - DAY 1 (4/25)] Coyote contacts Garrett, warns him about Dodger, and offers a few resources if he needs an escape.
     [5/28/21 - DAY 2 (4/26)] Garrett and Dodger argue about Dodger refusing to defuse his door bombs. Later, Dodger tries bottoming and Garrett gets a chastity device.
     [6/22/21 - DAY 3 (4/27)] Garrett earns his way out of the cock cage with knifeplay. Dodger leaves afterward and comes back bruised and bloody.
               - Dodger carves a protection rune into Garrett's chest.
               - Dodger bottoms again, featuring post-orgasm torture.
     [7/16/21 - DAY 4 (4/28)] *Garrett wakes Dodger up with sex. Dodger is a big bossy brat and proceeds to prematurely ejaculate.
               - Dodger tries to answer his phone mid-sex.
               - They argue about adopting out the dogs.
               - Dodger introduces the demon fleshlight. It spirals into violent, bloody sex.
               - They have an after-sex feelings jam, and softer aftercare sex.
     [8/3/21 - DAY 17 (5/11)] Garrett blindfolds Dodger and tops him to handle the frustration of being caged.
               - Dodger starts up a struggle for dominance halfway through, and wins.
               - Afterward, Dodger teases Garrett briefly before they have sex in the shower.
               - Garrett safe-words during sex, and they pivot to softer (?) sex in bed, before Dodger locks Garrett in the closet overnight.
     [8/4/21 - DAY 15? (5/9)] Garrett meets Marina, and introduces her to Max.
     [8/19/21 - DAY 18 (5/12)] Dodger wakes Garrett up with gender-swapped sex, although he really overshot the 'kink' factor of the closet.
               - They talk briefly about Garrett's new apartment, and Dodger changes the subject by inviting him on a coffee date.
               - Garrett gets restless, and Dodger takes him on an impromptu trip into rural Mass. On the way Garrett heals Dodger's wrist scars.
               - Dodger screws Garrett against the hood of a rental car he stole at gunpoint.
     [9/2/21 - DAY 20 (5/14)] Garrett and Coyote talk about job-hunting, and Coyote updates him on Marina and Max.
     [9/14/21 - DAY 21 (5/15)] Dodger pushes Garrett into gender-swapping, so he can take her out to dinner and be lovey in public.
               - Dodger starts fingering Garrett under the table during dinner, and slips in a little of his feeder kink.
               - They screw in the car on the way home, and keep going at home. Dodger tries out tail-fucking Garrett.
     [10/6/21 - DAY 29 (5/23)] Garrett sees texts from Jason on Dodger's phone, and they argue after both taking truth serum.
               - They discuss Garrett's suicide, and Dodger shares his fears about it. They also talk about therapy for Dodger.
               - They argue about Dodger's drive to keep Garrett locked away for his own safety. Garrett leaves to move into his new apartment.
               - Garrett texts Coyote the next morning to talk about possibly working for Dana's group.
     [10/12/21 - DAY 30 (5/24)] Garrett meets Dana, they briefly discuss his new job and then go off to spar together.
     [10/12/21 - DAY 30 (5/24)] *Garrett and Dodger sext to smooth over the rough night before.
               - Dodger agrees for Garrett to meet his friends, and talks a bit about them and his role at Atlas.
               - Garrett doms Dodger, until Dodger uses his safeword.
               - They discuss the sex contract again, and get worked up enough to go back to screwing.
     [11/12/21 - DAY 57 (6/20)] Dodger takes Garrett on a plane ride to meet Augustine in New York.
     [AUGUSTINE - 1/17/22 - DAY 57 (6/20)] *Dodger and Garrett meet up with Augustine, who feels Garrett up before dismissing her for their business meeting.
               - Afterward, Augustine catches them being cute at the hotel bar.
               - They meet up with Scotty and Jazzlyn at a fancy Chinese restaurant.
               - Dodger has to step out after Scotty and Jazzlyn leave, leaving Garrett alone with Augustine.
               - They go back to their hotel room, and have make-up sex with a vibrator involved.
               - Garrett heals Dodger's back scars, and they talk about his tattoos. Garrett marks his territory.
     [2/1/22 - DAY 58 (6/21)] Dodger and Garrett head home from New York, screw on a plane and then again at home.
     [PALO - 2/11/22 - DAY 75-76 (7/8-7/9)] Dodger finally introduces Garrett to his friends, so they can do coke and play Poker.
               - Palo corners Garrett to be territorial over Dodger.
               - Dodger and friends start betting on who gets to use Garrett's mouth. Palo nearly kills Garrett, twice.
               - The next morning, Dodger does his best to make up for the night before, with romance and foreplay.
               - Dodger almost immediately ruins it by going fully overboard with 'kink'.
               - Garrett gets his revenge by topping Dodger, and afterward they argue about Dodger not being able to admit he fucked up.
     [BREAK-UP - 3/24/22 - DAY 83 (7/16)] Dodger takes Garrett out to eat, but gets interrupted by a run-in with Dana.
     [3/29/22 - DAY 80 (7/13)] Dodger and Garrett get into an argument over text, after which Dodger gets drunk and rapes him.


*Nipple Piercing Conversation Counter: 4

Comments

[smokedout]

After he messages the driver, Dodger watches Garrett pack with his arms crossed and the phone pressed to his lips. His eyes follow his boyfriend's hands - he passes over certain toys, ones that Dodger knows belong to him. He leaves his own possessions, just enough that some part of him is comforted by it. Garrett is planning to come back. He's sure that's what it means.

Unless those are just things he doesn't like.

Garrett is bringing aphro and sex toys. Is he planning to sleep around?

He bites his lip, and turns invisible. It isn't purposeful - he wants to disappear, and his body obliges. Maybe that way Garrett won't see him tearing up.

[defaulthawke]

Garrett notices after a minute or two- after zipping up the second bag, he picks it up and realizes that he can no longer see Dodger and didn't hear him leave.

"Dodger?" His tone is quiet in the apparently-empty room. "Are you here? I wanted to talk to you."

[smokedout]

Dodger doesn't want to talk. He just wants to sink into the earth. But he can't help speaking up, with a voice that's much weaker than he wants it to be. Quiet, shellshocked.

"I'm here."

[defaulthawke]

Garrett's look gentles a little as he turns towards the corner where he thinks the voice is coming from.

"I'm taking my toothbrush, so you might want to get another one. Unless my morning breath is really that sexy."

[smokedout]

Get another toothbrush. In case he visits, Dodger assumes. He can't really think of anything else it could mean. Once again, his voice comes out quiet and defeated.

"Okay."

[defaulthawke]

"And let me know if you won't be able to walk the kids," he continues, referring to the two dogs anxiously pacing around the living room. "I'll still be able to get in, so I can take them for runs or to the dog park if you can't. Just give me warning ahead of time so I can plan, alright?"

He hates talking to the empty air. With a huff of impatience, Garrett reaches up and dispels the invisibility, frowning inscrutably when his boyfriend (?) flickers into view.

"There you are. Listen, this isn't a permanent goodbye. You know that, right?"

[smokedout]

Dodger can feel it when his invisibility is pulled away, and he feels stripped bare. He can hold it together for a few more moments, but a tear slides down his cheek when Garrett says it's not a permanent break. It doesn't matter that it isn't permanent. It's happening at all, and that's not okay.

More tears fall. His hands are shaking, and he crosses his arms to try and hide them.

"Just get out."

[defaulthawke]

That hurts his heart so much that Garrett drops the duffel bag heavily to the floor and crosses the room to his lover. He can't resist the pull of those sad eyes.

"Jamie, you know I love you. I just... need you to see that I can be in the world without exploding. I don't want to break up."

[smokedout]

Dodger takes a step back when Garrett approaches him. And another, and then he bursts in a flash of flames, disappearing somewhere else in the apartment.

It's too much for him. All of it is too much. The bathroom door slams closed and locks, and he slums to the floor between the sink cabinet and toilet. In a small space where he can almost fool himself into feeling protected. At least where he can be shielded from the world, curled up in the dark and sobbing quietly.

[defaulthawke]

Garrett turns on his heel and follows the noise, pulling up to a halt outside the bathroom. The door is locked when he tries it, of course, so he just gives it one halfhearted thump before faltering.

"Jamie, please, listen to me. I'm not trying to break up with you."

[smokedout]

There's no reply. He's trying to block out the sound of Garrett's voice, block out everything until he can think clearly. He shouldn't have drunk so much, he can't handle feeling this much pain while he's sauced.

Crusher starts to nose at the door, then paw at it and whine softly.

[defaulthawke]

He knocks at the door again, more insistently this time, and urges, "Jamie, let me in. Please. Let me in."

He isn't giving up.

[smokedout]

Hiding here really isn't great when Garrett won't leave him alone. He stays where he is for a while longer, but eventually he does have to get up. He unlocks the door and slowly opens it, rubbing his eye and trying to look like he wasn't crying. Trying, and failing miserably.

[defaulthawke]

Garrett immediately pulls Jamie into his arms and draws him into a tight hug. If nothing else, even with the romantic conflict, his latent instincts from the fatherhood that never was still gnaw at him.

"Jayjay," he shushes softly, kissing Dodger's hair. "Take a breath. Listen to me. You know that I love you, right?"

[smokedout]

He flinches slightly when Garrett hugs him, but he can't help melting into his arms. His shaking hands move to grip Garrett's shirt, and he buries his face in Garrett's chest with a quiet sob.

Funny how they've never been able to break apart properly. No matter how angry or upset he is, he's drawn to Garrett's arms like a magnet, and he needs that comfort desperately.

"I know." He answers weakly, trying to take a deep breath after that gets interrupted with another sob.

[defaulthawke]

Garrett's strong arms wrap around Dodger, enveloping him with muscle and comfort, one hand rubbing his back in a way that always comforted him as a child. It's fucked up, but it's what they know. It speaks to something deep and instinctual inside them both.

"And you know that me moving out isn't the same thing as us breaking up? That I can use that nice apartment and still be your boyfriend?"

[smokedout]

"I know." He answers again, finally turning his head enough that he can breath clearly. He doesn't care about that much, though, he just wants to drown in Garrett's body and his scent.

"I don't want you to leave." He mutters, reaching a hand up to wipe his eyes. "I don't want to sleep alone. I don't want-..."

He hiccups and buries his face in Garrett's chest again. It's an attempt to cover up what he was about to blurt out.

I don't want to lose my grip on you.

[defaulthawke]

Garrett hugs him tighter, but his mind is racing. Some part of him wants to respond to this honesty and vulnerability. Some part of him is weak to this emotion and seeks to reassure the crying boy in his arms.

The rest of him knows that this is too important to back down from.

"Maybe, but I have conditions. I need you to introduce me to your friends. This week," he states firmly. "And I'm getting a job. If you won't let me live in the world, then I'll have to do it on my own."

[smokedout]

Dodger bites his lip, and summons the courage to lean back and meet Garrett's eyes.

"Don't leave tonight." He mumbles. "Stay with me. You can leave tomorrow. And... yeah. I'll intr- I'm gonna pretend I'm planning t- fuck."

Fucking honesty. He covers his mouth and his gaze drops, shame written clear across his face.

[defaulthawke]

The little grain of hope that was starting to bloom in Garrett's expression immediately ices over to something hard and coolly disappointed.

"Call me when you're ready to actually do it," he says calmly, detaching himself from the other man. "Or when you decide to care about what I need as a person."

[smokedout]

Dodger takes a deep breath, and just... nods. He's come to know that expression and that tone, and he knows not to argue.

"Yes, sir."

He doesn't know why he slips into addressing Garrett like his father, in times like these. He's stopped questioning it.

[defaulthawke]

Garrett steps back and goes for his bags. After hauling them to the front door, he gets Ox and Blue's leashes and ties them to his belt, then turns back to Dodger.

"I hope it's soon. It would be nice to be your boyfriend for real, not just the pet you keep at home in a kennel. I'm not a delicate flower, I was a mercenary, a noble, a goddamned adventurer for hire- the Champion of my city. I had people trying to kill me all the time, and I killed them all first. But you obviously won't give me a life, so I'll make one. Maybe if you see me living in the world, you'll realize that I can handle it."

[smokedout]

Garrett is right, like he always is. Dodger takes yet another deep breath, and nods. Compared to Garrett Hawke, Dodger is a nobody. A man with more blood on his hands than most people would see in their lives, who would probably make the world a better place by dying. Able to live in luxury just because he fell into the right pocket.

"Just go. Please."

[defaulthawke]

Garrett nods, and with his parting words ("I love you"), he leaves. The drive is quiet and he thanks the driver whose face he never sees. When they get inside, Garrett finds the kitchen stocked with non-perishables and the fridge full of things that never go bad, like condiments and beer. There's shit in the freezer, too. Whatever Dodger's paying for this place, it's probably absurd. He helps himself to several beers (and more of the whiskey he took, as well as some weed) and falls into his bed. The dogs climb in with him, which is actually a nice change- he loves cuddling in his sleep, but had missed the familiar presence of the massive beasts taking up the king-size bed with him. It eases the loneliness of the first night somewhat, and makes him a little less depressed to be so alone.

When he wakes the next morning, he texts Coyote: so, about that job idea with your boss...

[americanjackal]

She doesn't text back immediately, but it's pretty quick.

did something happen?