Entry tags:
Dogbeef Trash Repository
Top Level Comments
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
[4/25/21 - DAY 1 (4/25)] *Garrett arrives in Boston, and Dodger picks him up from the hospital. Later they discuss CBT.
[5/26/21 - DAY 1 (4/25)] Coyote contacts Garrett, warns him about Dodger, and offers a few resources if he needs an escape.
[5/28/21 - DAY 2 (4/26)] Garrett and Dodger argue about Dodger refusing to defuse his door bombs. Later, Dodger tries bottoming and Garrett gets a chastity device.
[6/22/21 - DAY 3 (4/27)] Garrett earns his way out of the cock cage with knifeplay. Dodger leaves afterward and comes back bruised and bloody.
- Dodger carves a protection rune into Garrett's chest.
- Dodger bottoms again, featuring post-orgasm torture.
[7/16/21 - DAY 4 (4/28)] *Garrett wakes Dodger up with sex. Dodger is a big bossy brat and proceeds to prematurely ejaculate.
- Dodger tries to answer his phone mid-sex.
- They argue about adopting out the dogs.
- Dodger introduces the demon fleshlight. It spirals into violent, bloody sex.
- They have an after-sex feelings jam, and softer aftercare sex.
[8/3/21 - DAY 17 (5/11)] Garrett blindfolds Dodger and tops him to handle the frustration of being caged.
- Dodger starts up a struggle for dominance halfway through, and wins.
- Afterward, Dodger teases Garrett briefly before they have sex in the shower.
- Garrett safe-words during sex, and they pivot to softer (?) sex in bed, before Dodger locks Garrett in the closet overnight.
[8/4/21 - DAY 15? (5/9)] Garrett meets Marina, and introduces her to Max.
[8/19/21 - DAY 18 (5/12)] Dodger wakes Garrett up with gender-swapped sex, although he really overshot the 'kink' factor of the closet.
- They talk briefly about Garrett's new apartment, and Dodger changes the subject by inviting him on a coffee date.
- Garrett gets restless, and Dodger takes him on an impromptu trip into rural Mass. On the way Garrett heals Dodger's wrist scars.
- Dodger screws Garrett against the hood of a rental car he stole at gunpoint.
[9/2/21 - DAY 20 (5/14)] Garrett and Coyote talk about job-hunting, and Coyote updates him on Marina and Max.
[9/14/21 - DAY 21 (5/15)] Dodger pushes Garrett into gender-swapping, so he can take her out to dinner and be lovey in public.
- Dodger starts fingering Garrett under the table during dinner, and slips in a little of his feeder kink.
- They screw in the car on the way home, and keep going at home. Dodger tries out tail-fucking Garrett.
[10/6/21 - DAY 29 (5/23)] Garrett sees texts from Jason on Dodger's phone, and they argue after both taking truth serum.
- They discuss Garrett's suicide, and Dodger shares his fears about it. They also talk about therapy for Dodger.
- They argue about Dodger's drive to keep Garrett locked away for his own safety. Garrett leaves to move into his new apartment.
- Garrett texts Coyote the next morning to talk about possibly working for Dana's group.
[10/12/21 - DAY 30 (5/24)] Garrett meets Dana, they briefly discuss his new job and then go off to spar together.
[10/12/21 - DAY 30 (5/24)] *Garrett and Dodger sext to smooth over the rough night before.
- Dodger agrees for Garrett to meet his friends, and talks a bit about them and his role at Atlas.
- Garrett doms Dodger, until Dodger uses his safeword.
- They discuss the sex contract again, and get worked up enough to go back to screwing.
[11/12/21 - DAY 57 (6/20)] Dodger takes Garrett on a plane ride to meet Augustine in New York.
[AUGUSTINE - 1/17/22 - DAY 57 (6/20)] *Dodger and Garrett meet up with Augustine, who feels Garrett up before dismissing her for their business meeting.
- Afterward, Augustine catches them being cute at the hotel bar.
- They meet up with Scotty and Jazzlyn at a fancy Chinese restaurant.
- Dodger has to step out after Scotty and Jazzlyn leave, leaving Garrett alone with Augustine.
- They go back to their hotel room, and have make-up sex with a vibrator involved.
- Garrett heals Dodger's back scars, and they talk about his tattoos. Garrett marks his territory.
[2/1/22 - DAY 58 (6/21)] Dodger and Garrett head home from New York, screw on a plane and then again at home.
[PALO - 2/11/22 - DAY 75-76 (7/8-7/9)] Dodger finally introduces Garrett to his friends, so they can do coke and play Poker.
- Palo corners Garrett to be territorial over Dodger.
- Dodger and friends start betting on who gets to use Garrett's mouth. Palo nearly kills Garrett, twice.
- The next morning, Dodger does his best to make up for the night before, with romance and foreplay.
- Dodger almost immediately ruins it by going fully overboard with 'kink'.
- Garrett gets his revenge by topping Dodger, and afterward they argue about Dodger not being able to admit he fucked up.
[BREAK-UP - 3/24/22 - DAY 83 (7/16)] Dodger takes Garrett out to eat, but gets interrupted by a run-in with Dana.
[3/29/22 - DAY 80 (7/13)] Dodger and Garrett get into an argument over text, after which Dodger gets drunk and rapes him.
*Nipple Piercing Conversation Counter: 4
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
[4/25/21 - DAY 1 (4/25)] *Garrett arrives in Boston, and Dodger picks him up from the hospital. Later they discuss CBT.
[5/26/21 - DAY 1 (4/25)] Coyote contacts Garrett, warns him about Dodger, and offers a few resources if he needs an escape.
[5/28/21 - DAY 2 (4/26)] Garrett and Dodger argue about Dodger refusing to defuse his door bombs. Later, Dodger tries bottoming and Garrett gets a chastity device.
[6/22/21 - DAY 3 (4/27)] Garrett earns his way out of the cock cage with knifeplay. Dodger leaves afterward and comes back bruised and bloody.
- Dodger carves a protection rune into Garrett's chest.
- Dodger bottoms again, featuring post-orgasm torture.
[7/16/21 - DAY 4 (4/28)] *Garrett wakes Dodger up with sex. Dodger is a big bossy brat and proceeds to prematurely ejaculate.
- Dodger tries to answer his phone mid-sex.
- They argue about adopting out the dogs.
- Dodger introduces the demon fleshlight. It spirals into violent, bloody sex.
- They have an after-sex feelings jam, and softer aftercare sex.
[8/3/21 - DAY 17 (5/11)] Garrett blindfolds Dodger and tops him to handle the frustration of being caged.
- Dodger starts up a struggle for dominance halfway through, and wins.
- Afterward, Dodger teases Garrett briefly before they have sex in the shower.
- Garrett safe-words during sex, and they pivot to softer (?) sex in bed, before Dodger locks Garrett in the closet overnight.
[8/4/21 - DAY 15? (5/9)] Garrett meets Marina, and introduces her to Max.
[8/19/21 - DAY 18 (5/12)] Dodger wakes Garrett up with gender-swapped sex, although he really overshot the 'kink' factor of the closet.
- They talk briefly about Garrett's new apartment, and Dodger changes the subject by inviting him on a coffee date.
- Garrett gets restless, and Dodger takes him on an impromptu trip into rural Mass. On the way Garrett heals Dodger's wrist scars.
- Dodger screws Garrett against the hood of a rental car he stole at gunpoint.
[9/2/21 - DAY 20 (5/14)] Garrett and Coyote talk about job-hunting, and Coyote updates him on Marina and Max.
[9/14/21 - DAY 21 (5/15)] Dodger pushes Garrett into gender-swapping, so he can take her out to dinner and be lovey in public.
- Dodger starts fingering Garrett under the table during dinner, and slips in a little of his feeder kink.
- They screw in the car on the way home, and keep going at home. Dodger tries out tail-fucking Garrett.
[10/6/21 - DAY 29 (5/23)] Garrett sees texts from Jason on Dodger's phone, and they argue after both taking truth serum.
- They discuss Garrett's suicide, and Dodger shares his fears about it. They also talk about therapy for Dodger.
- They argue about Dodger's drive to keep Garrett locked away for his own safety. Garrett leaves to move into his new apartment.
- Garrett texts Coyote the next morning to talk about possibly working for Dana's group.
[10/12/21 - DAY 30 (5/24)] Garrett meets Dana, they briefly discuss his new job and then go off to spar together.
[10/12/21 - DAY 30 (5/24)] *Garrett and Dodger sext to smooth over the rough night before.
- Dodger agrees for Garrett to meet his friends, and talks a bit about them and his role at Atlas.
- Garrett doms Dodger, until Dodger uses his safeword.
- They discuss the sex contract again, and get worked up enough to go back to screwing.
[11/12/21 - DAY 57 (6/20)] Dodger takes Garrett on a plane ride to meet Augustine in New York.
[AUGUSTINE - 1/17/22 - DAY 57 (6/20)] *Dodger and Garrett meet up with Augustine, who feels Garrett up before dismissing her for their business meeting.
- Afterward, Augustine catches them being cute at the hotel bar.
- They meet up with Scotty and Jazzlyn at a fancy Chinese restaurant.
- Dodger has to step out after Scotty and Jazzlyn leave, leaving Garrett alone with Augustine.
- They go back to their hotel room, and have make-up sex with a vibrator involved.
- Garrett heals Dodger's back scars, and they talk about his tattoos. Garrett marks his territory.
[2/1/22 - DAY 58 (6/21)] Dodger and Garrett head home from New York, screw on a plane and then again at home.
[PALO - 2/11/22 - DAY 75-76 (7/8-7/9)] Dodger finally introduces Garrett to his friends, so they can do coke and play Poker.
- Palo corners Garrett to be territorial over Dodger.
- Dodger and friends start betting on who gets to use Garrett's mouth. Palo nearly kills Garrett, twice.
- The next morning, Dodger does his best to make up for the night before, with romance and foreplay.
- Dodger almost immediately ruins it by going fully overboard with 'kink'.
- Garrett gets his revenge by topping Dodger, and afterward they argue about Dodger not being able to admit he fucked up.
[BREAK-UP - 3/24/22 - DAY 83 (7/16)] Dodger takes Garrett out to eat, but gets interrupted by a run-in with Dana.
[3/29/22 - DAY 80 (7/13)] Dodger and Garrett get into an argument over text, after which Dodger gets drunk and rapes him.
*Nipple Piercing Conversation Counter: 4

no subject
Still working on that last part. At the very least, he feels... seen. Pressing his ear to Dodger's chest rewards him with the low, rhythmic beating of Dodger's heart- a normal, human heartbeat, that Garrett still isn't used to hearing.
It moves him to speak. He doesn't turn his head to look up at Dodger- that's too vulnerable. It's easier to talk with his cheek nestled against lightly haired skin, eyes fixed somewhere on the opposite wall.
"You like treating me the way nobody else ever would," he starts hesitantly, trying to give voice to the weird, hurt feelings roiling inside him. "And it's true. They wouldn't. They would never treat me that way. But you... it's just strange. Hearing you say that you... hearing you talk about your feelings while doing that."
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He wants to kiss Garrett, but even Dodger knows that it would be too vulnerable. At best it would make them crumble, and distract themselves with more physical affection just to avoid talking. It wouldn't help anything.
"I like going over the edge. But I just... I needed you to know I wasn't trying to torture you. I just... I don't know. I wanted to feel something."
It seems like every day it gets harder and harder to feel connected to this reality. Garrett is the only thing that seems to properly tether him, even in those moments of insanity.
"I'm sorry."
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He's had a similar conversation with Barry, too, when the man was experiencing dom drop. That day was vastly different, though. Garrett had been in a great mood that day, rather than this weird shaky uncertainty plaguing him now. The strange and profound sadness worming its way into his heart.
"You only ever say things like beautiful when I'm bleeding, or choking, or naked, or... submitting. What do you actually..."
He feigns a cough, feeling incredibly stupid and vulnerable.
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He's quiet for a while, petting Garrett's hair and trying to come up with a response. Something in his chest feels tight, and maybe it's just from how deep he has to press to even open his mouth.
"It's just how I am." He murmurs finally. "It's easier to... um. It's easier to talk, when it's just talk. I mean, whatever I say during sex, it's... bullshit, it doesn't matter, half the people I fuck won't remember it afterward. So it just..."
This is a horrible explanation. Maybe he should just shut the fuck up and start over. He lets out a loud sigh.
"I... I think you're beautiful. I think you're- I love that you can just do whatever you want without caring what anyone else thinks. I like how you smile when you're playing with the dogs, I like how angry you get when I fuck something up. I like that you care. About helping people, about being a good person, just... all that passion, you feel like you're alive. I feel like I'm alive when I'm around you."
And he likes that Garrett fights back against him, but that seems like... less of a valid argument right now.
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And what things he says. Sensitive, passionate- real.
"Why, Dodger, that actually sounds like-" Garrett buries his face in Dodger's chest to hide how hot his face feels all of a sudden, feels strangely small, and forgets to resent it. "Respect."
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"I've always been jealous of you. I think you knew that already. You're, uh... you're a lot better than me. In a lot of ways. I sorta just... want that light reflecting on me."
One of his hands slips down lower, to play with Garrett's beard. His favorite part of the older man's appearance, his favorite thing to touch.
"Your looks don't hurt either... wouldn't mind if you stopped dying your hair, though."
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Because that was obviously the worst thing to come of that conversation. Not the admission that he still cared about Dodger, or being forced to cop to how often he actually thought about the still-daunting contract and service idea.
This is all, of course, obviously not a cheap deflection away from the feelings that are far too sincere to know how to handle. A light shining from him? Maker, that's too beautiful for his tangled mind to deal with all at once.
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"Didn't need the serum, I've found the dye boxes. And I can smell it on you."
There's a pause here, but... yeah, Dodger's been waiting as long as he can handle. He shifts a bit, trying to guide Garrett up so he can press a soft kiss to those perfect lips.
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"Hey," he says casually after a slow minute of soft, shallow, almost chaste kissing. "I have this suspicion. Do you like me? As, you know, more than a friend?"
Jared, we've been dating for-Yes, this is fishing. He's blatantly fishing to hear It.
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"I... yeah. Of course I do, what the f..."
His gaze darts for a second, like he's looking around for assistance. All he gets is Crusher's head propped on the bed, silently asking for permission to come up. Not helping.
"...Are you fucking with me?"
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"I don't know what you mean." So innocent. "I would never, ever fuck with you."
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"You first." He teases back, tugging lightly on Garrett's beard in lieu of pinching his cheek. "Do you love me?"
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"Yeah," he says, muffled at first before letting go to speak more clearly. "I love you."
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"I love you too." He murmurs, before leaning down for another soft, chaste kiss.
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When they break away from the kiss, Garrett's eyes are prickling and hot, visibly wet, and his stomach is roiling with a weird, lonely kind of pain.
"I'm sorry," he says miserably, turning his face away in embarrassment. "I've never had sub drop this bad before. I just keep thinking about..."
Fuck. Fuck. It's stupid.
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He sits up, giving Garrett space but feeling like a chasm just opened up between them.
"Talk to me." He stumbles over the words, betraying how anxious he feels. He doesn't really know if it wants to hear it, but he doesn't want to let his mind imagine what Garrett is thinking about.
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"It's just the usual sub drop shit," he mumbles, feeling thoroughly stupid. "How could he love me if he did that to me, how could I love him after everything he's done to me, what's wrong with me for liking this, and... of course... thinking about how weird and deeply terrible it is to be..."
He sighs and looks down, toying with the edge of the sheet idly. This is all so stupid, and he hates how cold and sad he feels. Dodger is trying really hard, he knows.
"There's just... I don't know. I haven't said "I love you" to many people. Other than family, there's just been three. Including family, all but one of them are people I'm never going to see again. Actually, except for you, everyone I've ever known in my entire life are people I'm never going to see again."
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He doesn't really know what he should say, exactly, or if he should say anything. But Garrett wanted to be close again, so he settles back down and presses their foreheads together. Soft, intimate, even if he isn't quite meeting the other man's eyes.
"There's a lot of people I miss from the other worlds. I'm never gonna see them, either... I'm lucky I came home, I guess, but it doesn't feel like I belong here anymore."
He pauses, tracing a meaningless pattern on Garrett's chest and focusing his gaze on his fingers.
"I can't help you with most of those questions, though... there's gotta be some reason people keep coming back to me, but fuck if I know it."
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"You hated him," Garrett says quietly. "But still cared about what he meant to me. Instead of chucking me in the bin or trying to get in my pants, you helped me. A lot."
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"I really wish he wouldn't come up this often."
He gets it. Really. But Barry's name is always hanging above their heads, more than any of Dodger's exes ever have. Maybe he can kid himself into saying it doesn't matter, but he's seen how Garrett jumps at the opportunity to look again. Back in Hell, and in Boston.
Like he's looking for an exit.
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"You wanted a reason why someone might want to come back to you," he explains, picking his words carefully. "For instance, caring about me enough to help me through losing someone you hated."
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"I know. I know I asked for it, I just..."
He gestures vaguely, trying to get his thoughts into physical form.
"...Nevermind. Yeah. I guess."
He wants to get up and escape, but he doesn't want to leave Garrett's arms. He just wishes his chest would stop crushing itself at the drop of a hat, every time this conversation takes a slightly unexpected turn. He wishes he still had enough of a wall around him to shove the other man away when it got uncomfortable.
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"I'm sorry." Quiet. Sad. He turns away and stares at a lonely spot on the far wall despondently. "I know it's not something you want to think about. If I had my way, I'd just cut the goddamn feelings out and feed them to the dogs."
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"You're not the only person that misses someone in another world."
He stews with that in the air for a while before he decides he probably shouldn't leave it at that. He'd call it bitchy if anyone else did.
"I know I slept around a lot in Hell, but there were only three men I was really... Head over heels for. You, Francis, and..." He hesitates, "I forgot if you ever met my old boyfriend. Crippled Viking kid, named Ivar the Boneless."
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"You mentioned him," Garrett says dully. "He was from a previous world. You did a lot of fucked up, bloody shit with him. A lot of fighting."
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